My daughter has a very definitive way of speaking. Everything is absolute. Nothing can be denied. So when my particular 2-year-old states in a clear and convincing way that “Bubbles NEED poops”…
You almost believe her.
Of course, you and I know that bubbles do not indeed need poops. They need a plastic wand, a gentle puff of breath, and a warm summer’s day. So why is she saying this? Why are bubbles pooping? And why is it so necessary? Are there answers to such questions? We may never know. Such is the mind of a toddler, I guess. It’s too bad because this Inescapable Truth is not the only one to spring forth from my daughter’s mind.
And the others are just as weird.
Two weekends ago I was enjoying a pleasant spring day grilling out back with a few friends. My wife had marinated some chicken for pollo asado, so I was dutifully cooking them to perfection. Audrey, not having had any experience with this particular meal, asked me what I was doing. So I explained it to her, including the fact that the chicken was swimming in delicious flavor. She’d love it!
“Flavor NOT yummy. It yucky.”
It is? This admittedly put me on my heels. I had never heard such a thing. Who doesn’t like flavor? It’s everywhere. Americans practically swim in the stuff. But according to her? Flavor’s yucky. That’s too bad really, because I’m pretty sure she’d like it if she gave it a chance. Which is exactly the point. She says flavor is yucky not because it is, but because she doesn’t know the word. And if it’s not something she’s familiar with, it’s NO GOOD.
So, alright! I’m going to pay myself on the back for one Inescapable Truth likely explained. But the next one drops us right back into the Land of the Pooping Bubbles:
“Cows eat bananas!”
They do? Then why do they need to chew so much? Nyuk nyuk nyuk. Seriously, do you have an explanation for this? It’s just two concepts stuck together haphazardly, right? I wonder if maybe she’s just saying this sort of thing to get a rise of out me. If she had said “Cows eat grass,” I would have likely followed it up with “Yup! Sure do.” But cows eating bananas? That probably got a better reaction out of me. As did “Bubbles NEED poops,” I’m guessing.
So what do we have so far for causes? Entertainment and fear of the unknown. Fine. But if these are indeed the reasons for these particular “truths”–as I’m guessing they are–then one obvious motivating factor for a toddler remains:
“You want bubbles? Everybody likes it!”
Yup, that’s persuasion alright. Bizarre, like the others, but clearly persuasive. She wanted me to get out the bubble bottle and this was her way of convincing me. Well, nice work, kiddo. I have to tip my cap to you for a job well done. You is right, after all. Everyone does like it.
Even if it does need to poop.