I think my daughter is trying to kill me.
Wow, has it been 6 months already? Half a year since I set fire to my cubicle and ran headfirst into the loving embrace of my couch? Twenty-six weeks of diaper changing, potty training, kiddo feeding, cat hair brushing, grocery shopping, excursion planning, Sesame Street watching, blog writing, and daddy daughter bonding? Amazing. So it seems as good a time as any to look back and take stock in my performance as an at-home father. And thankfully I can, at least, take solace in one important fact about my child rearing:
My daughter is not dead. Well done, buddy.
But while keeping one’s offspring alive and functional is arguably the most important factor in raising them, there are others to consider–such as the house upkeep and whatnot. So let’s see how badly I’ve done, shall we?
With only weeks to go, my wife and I have been tossing a lot of baby names at the wall as of late. And thus far, many aren’t sticking. No thanks to me, however. You see, while my wife actually looks at books and the Social Security Administration’s website for baby names…
I use the opportunity for humorous effect.
This, of course, causes my wife untold amounts of grief and frustration. She’s, after all, trying to determine the everlasting moniker for our upcoming son. It’s kind of a big deal. But I just can’t help myself. Funny names are just more interesting. So, while my wife may hate my suggestions, it is my hope that you, dear reader, will find them as enjoyable as I do. Let’s see, shall we?
I think I’m well on my way to having Parental PTSD. It’s not at all uncommon for me to feel shell shocked–wobbling and dead in the eyes–at the end of a long day alone with my spirited 2-year-old daughter. And that’s just one child. I’m quite terrified to say a second one is on the way. A boy. And he’ll be here in six short weeks.
I’m terrified because lately I’ve found myself wondering how the hell I’m going to survive the addition of a second child. You see, whenever something goes a bit nutty around this house, I make the same under-my-breath remark: “My god. Soon there will be two of them.” And because this is such a common refrain, I have compiled a list of all the moments that currently take place in my life and will only get worse with the inclusion of yet another crazy pint-sized beast. So let’s take a stroll down the rabbit hole, shall we?
Hello Folks, Momma here!
In honor of Father’s Day, Audrey and I are taking over the blog with a Strange Exchange that is all about Daddy! I compiled a list of questions (inspired by something I saw on Pinterest) and asked Audrey all about her Daddy. The results are sometimes true, sometimes projections of Audrey’s life onto Daddy, and sometimes downright hilarious. Continue reading
Audrey likes to hide.
For instance, she’s hiding in the above picture. I’ll give you a second to try and find her. Need some help? Well, here’s a hint: that closet door isn’t usually open.
Yeah, my little girl’s really not that hard to find–especially in person considering she’s always giggling, singing, and announcing that she is, in fact, hiding. Sadly, like many of us in this crazy thing called Life, she’s passionate about something she’s actually pretty terrible at. But that doesn’t mean we can’t all play a game I spend many hours a day enjoying. I call it: Try to Find My Daughter.
And let me warn you–it’s gets a LOT tougher from here.