Now There Are Two of Them

Zachary

That there is my new baby boy:  Zachary.  He came into the world just last night.  I am a Proud Papa once again.

Tired too.

I should be going to bed right now.  I got about three hours of repeatedly interrupted sleep last night.  But before I hit the sheets, I figured I’d fill you, my dear readers, in on a few random observations from the last 24 hours.  Enjoy.

  • The hospital is a really strange place.  It’s so amazing and crappy all at once.
  • In the past day I have consumed far too many turkey clubs.  I don’t know what this means, but I’m scared all the same.
  • Cots!  I hates you!  *shakes fist at sky*
  • The reason I had so many turkey clubs is because they’re the only thing on the menu that had any flavor.  I mean, how can macaroni and cheese not taste like it even has cheese on it?  Kraft brand would have been superior.  By far.
  • There was a bonafide party is the delivery room next to us.  There must have been 20 people there to watch the show.  I even heard one girl mention she brought her boyfriend.  Please, let that sink in for a moment.
  • The mac and cheese even had this fancy red spice on top.  But the fancy red spice had no flavor.  How can fancy red spice have no flavor???  C’mon hospital.
  • Her boyfriend!  To labor!
  • Nurses see a lot of crazy crap.  Mostly random people’s private bits.
  • So much trash!  My goodness, everything is paper and plastic in a hospital.
  • If I experienced just one hour of being a nurse I’d probably need a padded cell.
  • ijooook (my cat Monty just walked over the keyboard)
  • I have totally forgotten what it’s like to change the diaper of a newborn.  It’s weird!  They’re so frail-looking and wrinkly.  And the diapers are so small!  Terrifying.
  • The back seat of my car is now fitted for kids only.  I am officially a gigantic loser.
  • My wife is a warrior princess though!
  • Without the princess part, however…  Not because she couldn’t be!  We just don’t have any jewels.  Simple as that.
  • This is gonna get a bit schmaltzy, but I must admit Little Zachary has the biggest eyes I’ve seen on a kid.  He’s like E.T.!  And he’s grey and wrinkly too.  But somehow…he’s still cute as hell.  And I already love him.  Even though he’s done nothing thus far but poop and sleep.

Isn’t that weird?

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3 thoughts on “Now There Are Two of Them

  1. Haha, I like that you left the cat’s bullet point in.

    Zachary is really cute. And that’s not just being nice… because all babies aren’t cute, despite what people may say.

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