Five Stupid Yet Brilliant Inventions for Kids

Audrey & Zachary

Parenting is hard.  But why learn to be a better caregiver when you can invent ways of making life easier instead?  Now I know what you’re thinking:  But Kent, inventing is hard too!  And to that I say, yesss…

But not if they’re stupid!

Thankfully I do have stupid inventions.  Strange and wonderful ones that you’d run out to buy right this instant if it didn’t critically endanger your child or make you look like a horrible parent.

Enjoy!

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The Domestic Totem Pole of Power

Totem_poles

At varying times spent in my current domestic capacity, I envisioned the power rankings of the many members of my family as one large totem pole–the powerful residing up there at the top, the meek at the bottom, just as you would expect.

Strange.  I know.

But now that my not-too-thrilled-to-be-a-part-of-this-outside-the-womb-world son Zachary has entered the picture, I found myself reassessing the current rankings around here.

What I found wasn’t pretty.

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Where Have All the Naptimes Gone?

Audrey and Zachary

In the weeks since my son arrived on the scene, many terrible events have taken place within the confines of my normally peaceful abode.  Awful stuff.  Horrible things!  But none have been as bloodcurdlingly life shortening as my 2-year-old daughter’s recent decision to stop taking naps.

This is because those of us that are parents realize one ultimate truth:  naptimes are like precious mana hand-delivered by the gods themselves to us, lowly peasants that we are.  They are precious.  They are joy.  They are what we need to survive.

We also realize another, equally important truth:  when our kids don’t take naps, all hell breaks loose.  And trust me friends, it is getting mighty hot at home these days.

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