The following exchange takes place EVERY SINGLE MORNING:
“Daddy, I want pumpkin snack.” “How about a ‘Good Morning’ instead?” “I want pumpkin snack.” “Let’s start with breakfast, okay?” “NOOO…I want PUMPKIN SNACK!” And off she runs. Whee.
So what are pumpkin snacks? Pumpkin snacks are candy.
And they have infested my daughter’s brain.
Now first things first: Pumpkin snacks are named as such because candy is a snack, and during Halloween said candy can likely be found inside a plastic pumpkin. Such is the mind of my daughter. And while she doesn’t exactly have the best eating habits—bread, bread, and more damn bread—she’s never truly been exposed to the HARD STUFF until last week’s ghoulish celebration.
The hour after I returned home from trick or treating with my “Little Pumpkin” was Audrey’s candy-based Age of Discovery. “M&M’s? Yum!” “Chocolate lollipop? Yum!” “Peanut butter cup? Yummy yum yummmm!” You get the picture. And ever since she’s been candy crazy, starting the very moment I enter her room in the morning.
Naturally I’ve had to dole her candy out as judiciously as possible. Typically I’ll allow her one sweet treat in the morning and one in the afternoon, and always after she’s eaten real food. This, naturally, has led to her dragging out the consumption of said pumpkin snacks as long as humanly possible. A few examples:
- When eating a bag of gummy snacks, she will devour each one as fast as possible until she gets to the last. That last gummy snack will then last at least 47 minutes. She accomplishes this by holding it in her hand, licking it from time to time—with an accompanying “Yum!” of course—and then eventually dropping it to the floor accidentally upon which I rush in and toss it in the trash, apologizing along the way.
- The other night she managed to make a Tootsie Roll Pop last over one full hour without once putting it down. After thirty minutes the stick was a wet shredded mess. But this did not stop her, or accelerate her consumption for that matter. No, instead she simply held the disembodied lollipop “ball” in her hand, licking it casually and with her customary “Yum!”
- Just yesterday she sorted her M&M’s by color, ate all colors but blue in an expeditious manner, then proceeded to break the remaining ones in half with her teeth and smear the chocolate goodness all over her cheeks. Total time: 72 minutes.
Of course such eating habits have rendered her tiny little hands perpetually dyed all the colors of the Skittles rainbow and sticky as all get out. Her mouth too. And, as you might expect, such sugary consumption has increased her frantic energy level to previously unheard of heights. It’s fun.
Still, her repeated euphoric exclamations of “Yum!”, “Yummy yum!”, and “Yum yum yummy yum yummy!!!” can’t help but put a smile on my face. After all, she’s not eating a ton of candy. Just a few pieces a day. And if she wants to drag out the experience and savor each and every pumpkin snack, who am I to stand in her way? Such is Halloween I guess.
Have fun, kiddo.